39 years & 8 months

It's been 39 years & 8 months and still going strong. Where does the time go; really? I can't help but wonder what the next 39 years hold for me. I certainly feel as though I am at a pivotal point right now. My awareness of the laws of attraction seems to be making every decision so much more intense; sharp even.

And I wonder; am I young or old? Am I too old for this and too young for that? I can't join AARP - or at least I don't think I can. I haven't been interested so don't really know. I do know that I don't get the senior's discount at the theater; I'm too young. Of course, for the most part, I can still do anything I want regardless of my age.

What's that they say? "You're only as young as you feel."

I certainly don't want to put any limitations on myself, but I gotta wonder if there might be circumstances in which the ‘too young' and ‘too old' factors might be valid. Of course, there will be times when the body really isn't capable. That's to be expected, yes? What I'm really considering are social expectations and such.

Let's take fashion for example. I've heard folks say, "That outfit's too young for her" or, "She's way too old to be wearing that." I might have even said it from time to time. These days, though, now that I'm getting to an age where it might be inappropriate to wear certain things, that sentiment is making me wonder. I suppose there's some validity to it, but how much of it is rooted in jealousy and resentment?

And then there's the statement we've all heard, "I'm too old to be acting like that." Or, "he's way too old to do that." Again, I can see some validity to the sentiment, but I wonder about it as well.

I guess I am just wondering where to draw the line; if at all.

With age comes experience and with experience comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the maturity to make intelligent choices and to act responsibly and insightfully. Growth... It crosses my mind that wisdom is only gained in growth; not necessarily age.

So the ultimate question I ask myself is; will I allow wisdom or society to dictate my choices?

Wisdom tells me to be respectful of others and not to judge. Wisdom promises a certain level of understanding, intelligence and perhaps even empathy. Wisdom, to me, is the Grandmother of Peace. Wisdom balances. Wisdom tells me that even though I may not agree with some one else's perceptions and beliefs, I must be respectful and do the best I can to allow that person their own way of being. But, wisdom also tells me to honor myself.

Society usually tells me to be one way or another based on the ‘norms' of the day. Society's message changes from week to week, day to day, hour to hour; like the blowing wind. I think one constant with society; other than change, is that it's based on the ideals of what a few propagate onto the susceptible masses.

As I grow older in both body and mind, I'm finding more to question about myself. I'm looking inward more than outward. I'm spending less time thinking about what others are doing or thinking and more time enjoying my life. I'm less concerned with the societal norms and more interested in satisfying my own desires. I'm feeling younger than my age, and healthier than ever. I'm feeling more at home in my skin now than when I was in the skin of a young woman. Yet, I still feel young.

39 years & 8 months is only a tiny drop in the bucket in the bigger scheme of things. I may be getting older and growing into something called wisdom, but in reality, I am entirely too young. I must admit that's thrilling to say and I'm looking forward to the next 39 years whether dictated by wisdom or society.